Assuming you can wade past the assorted agony column née Weekly World News-ish items on the front page, there actually are news articles on FOX News’ Web site. Somewhere. Here are a few snippets from stories currently making the rounds:
- Countries importing Chinese goods should be responsible for the heat-trapping gases released during manufacturing, a top Chinese official said Monday. By this logic, murder suspects are completely innocent as the person they shot should never have gotten in the way of that bullet. Although it does provide a convenient out to harried parents — “no, dear, Mommy can’t buy you that Dora the Hannah Montana wananbe doll. It’ll contribute to global warming.”
- Words of wisdom from country/pop singer Taylor Swift: “And as much as I can prevent people picturing me naked, I’m going to.”
- Iowa Sen. Charles Grassley suggested on Monday that AIG executives should take a Japanese approach toward accepting responsibility for the collapse of the insurance giant by resigning or killing themselves. Thanks for raising the level of public discourse there, Senator. There’s no excuse on any level for the clowns at AIG, but come on. While you’re at it, anything to say about Meghan McCain’s weight?
- The Obama administration issued a scathing response on Monday to criticism from former Vice President Dick Cheney, calling him part of a “Republican cabal” and saying his economic advice should be ignored. Um, don’t you folk have anything better to do than whine about your predecessor? Like, maybe, run the federal government? More proof they’re running scared from the Cheney/Limbaugh ’12 ticket.
- President Obama’s plan to require private insurance carriers to reimburse the Department of Veterans Affairs for the treatment of troops injured in service has infuriated veterans groups who say the government is morally obligated to pay for service-related medical care. Way to support those troops, Mr. President. Bail out fat cat corporations with taxpayer money, no problem. A solder wounded in battle? Hope you’ve got Blue Cross, and have your co-pay ready while you fill out these forms. And please don’t bleed on them, okay? Messy messy. (Okay, slight exaggeration there. But not by much.)
Um… picture you first in line for the next Bride of Frankenstein remake, perhaps…
