Cash Cow

The news that the CEO of General Motors has quit under de facto orders from the White House should be bothersome to everyone.  Whether Rick Wagoner had performed so badly he needed to go is a decision not only best left to the employees and shareholders of GM, it is solely their prerogative, not that of the federal government.  The matter smacks of state-run business.  If this is the desire. then let the government buy the company and run it in whatever manner it sees fit.  Government involvement in private business should never extend past the boundary of defining, prohibiting and when it occurs punishing illegal behavior.  Beyond this, there should be no interference in how a business conducts its affairs.  Its success or failure should rest entirely on its shoulders.  If its succeeds, so much the better for the government due to the corresponding increased tax revenue taken from the business.  If it fails, let there be no one to blame save itself, and let those responsible for the failure bear the consequences of their actions.

It is regrettable in the extreme that GM went to the government cap in hand, begging for funds with which to temporarily stave off its looming failure due to its refusal to abandon an utterly unsustainable business model.  No company can lavishly compensate all employees past and present at a level far above its income.  Yet this is precisely what GM, as well as Chrysler and Ford, have done for decades and continue to do even as the competition — Toyota, Honda and others — have simultaneously engineered product of genuine or at least perceived superiority and kept a firm grip on labor costs by not allowing the United Auto Workers’ insane belief in an auto factory job equaling entitlement to obscenely high compensation for life to gain a foothold.  While the present administration is paying some lip service to the need for the UAW to embrace reality, the sole tactic demonstrated thus far in its dealings with the auto industry has been beating down management while stalling for time with labor.  Given the Democratic party’s lengthy history of being organized labor’s marionette, it would be surprising if genuine pressure was exerted on the UAW to get in line.  There would be no surprise whatsoever if part of the final denouement on this matter includes the government agreeing to take on all or part of the benefits and retirement package currently enjoyed by UAW members, thus passing on the bill for their greed to the taxpayer.

No one wishes to deny anyone fair compensation for their labor.  Certainly far more can and should be done to create a more equitable pay scale for corporations, one where all employees from the CEO to the lowest person on the totem pole have both share and stake in the company’s well-being.  However, any such system must be structured so it will not be the downfall of the very organization from which its employees draw a salary.  One would think this would be clear to all.  Apparently it is the opposite.

Ultimately, the matter comes down to pride and greed.  Pride, demonstrated by those in the government saying they can do a better job of running a business than career professionals.  And greed, demonstrated by labor and management alike, each in their own fashion.  The latter’s avarice has been widely broadcast.  It is time for the former to receive similar treatment.  The UAW has for decades treated GM like a cash cow without once believing the evidence their doing so is killing the bovine.  We will now see if it takes GM going four hooves in the air for it to get the message.

Don’t count on it.

P.S.  Forget those “listen to Bob Marley” shirts.  Listen to Steve Taylor:

[video http://www.diecast-dude.com/gac/steve_taylor_cash_cow.flv nolink]

Act I

Move
Move in closer
Move in closer to the
Move in closer to the middle of the frame

Act II

It was a morning just like any other morning
In the Sinai Desert
1200 B.C.
It glistened, it glowed, it rose from the gold of the children of Israel
(And most of the adults)

The Cash Cow

The golden Cash Cow had a body like the great cows of ancient Egypt
And a face like the face of Robert Tilton (without the horns)
And through the centuries it has roamed the earth like a ravenous bovine
Seeking whom it may lick

Cash Cow, Cash Cow

From the Valley of the Shadow of the Outlet Mall
To the customized pet-wear boutique
From the trailer of the fry chef
To the palace of the sheik
The Cash Cow lurks
The Cash Cow lurks
The Cash Cow lurks

    Who loves you, baby?
    Who’ll give you good credit?
    Who says you’ll regret it?

    Who loves you, baby?
    Who’ll give you good credit?
    Who says you’ll regret it?

“I was young and I needed the money”
“I had money, and I needed more money”
“I was filthy rich–all I wanted was love. And a little more money”

Woe to you, proud mortal!
Secure in your modest digs
You think you’re immune?
You, who couldn’t finger said cow in a police line-up with the three little pigs?

Cash Cow, Master of Disguises
Who’s gonna change shape at will?
Who’s the eye in the pyramid on the back of the dollar bill?
Who loves power lunching from Spago to Sizzler?
Guess who’s coming to dinner?

    Who loves you, baby?
    Who’ll give you good credit?
    Who says you’ll regret it?

    Who loves you, baby?
    Who’ll give you good credit?
    Who says you’ll regret it?

    Who loves you, baby?
    Who’ll give you good credit?
    Who says you’ll regret it?

One yank on that udder
Will land your butter
In a sling

First one’s free
Cow junkies take heed

Cash Cow, coming to getcha!
Why?
Because you think this is stupid, don’t you?
The Cash Cow will not be mocked!
The Cash Cow’s planning a coup!
The Cash Cow chews cud bigger than you!

Woe, woe, woe to you who blow off this warning
Perhaps you’ve already been licked
I, too, was hypnotized
By those big cow eyes
The last time I uttered
Those three little words
“I deserve better!”

Intermission

Act III

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