I’ve been a Collective Soul fan since first hearing “Shine” in 1994. It’s never been the cool band to like, with most rock snobs turning up their noses as its precisely controlled sound. To me, its gift for melody and band leader Ed Roland’s lyrical bent toward that which while not tipping his hand as to exactly where he’s coming from evidences a spiritual bent holding little if any conflict with the fundamentals of Christian spirituality has always been welcome.
Afterwords, the band’s most recent (2007) album and of their catalog my overall favorite, has a song entitled “Good Morning After All.” The lyrics give cause for reflection, to put it mildly:
Yeah you give up some days
When the tears they must flow
But God is always your strength
The only strength that you know
Now everything starts to fall in placeChorus:
As you wake just to crawl
Still you say good morning after all
Then you stand just to fall
Still you say good morning after allYeah you questioned this life
Sure you wondered about love
But you swear there’s always hope
Always hope from above
Now everything starts to fall in place[chorus]
It’s just another breath
It’s just another breath you say
It’s just another step
It’s just another step today[chorus]
Twice yesterday I heard first hand about people whose bodies have been ravaged by cancer and who by all standards ought to be dead or dying. Yet they live, healed or healing. Coincidence that people of faith have had them in prayer? Hardly. Science and medicine treated them, certainly. But God cured them.
I’ve always found it slightly — slightly — amusing how in situations such as these I’ve had zero problem believing that God can and will cure people according to His perfect will and the grace He shows us. Yet when it comes to myself and dealing with the stuff of life and its inherent issues, be they professional or personal (for the record, the former is extremely edgy right now), my natural reaction is near-paralyzing fear that it won’t work out. Why? Why is my faith so lumpy, for lack of a better way to put it? I’ve long sought to understand that, but to date the reason or reasons escape me.
Perhaps the reason is somewhere within how its time I admit I’m human. I too get upset, and angry, and frustrated, and scared. Perhaps it’s time I admit I need prayer and comfort and reassurance as much as everyone else. I’ve always strove to be someone who comforts, cares for and prays for others. Now I need comfort, care and prayer. I need wisdom to know how to deal with matters. I need courage to do the right thing. I need strength to do the right thing.
I need faith, really.
It’s embarrassing how strong my faith is when extended to others yet weak when extended to myself.
How I pray that I will be able to say for myself as I’ve said to others no matter what…
… good morning after all.
Please keep me in prayer.
Thank you.
Jerry,
It’s an inherent fact that it is easier for us humans to deal with issues outside of ourselves, be caring and understanding, offer solace, prayers for others… When the view needs to be turned inwards, we are our own worst critic. Slow to admit when we need help because somehow that would make the world view us as weak. In reality why do we care what others think? At the risk of sounding self-centered, I’m beginning to understand that we all should learn how to put ourselves first before spreading thin among family and friends… My thoughts are with you
Good stuff, and very true. Collective Soul has been one of my favorite bands since they debuted, and I’m continually impressed by how they develop. This song is a real winner and resonates with life as much as most any contemporary worship tune.
Jerry, a word to you and for you!
I am where you are. We will make it.
Hi Jerry,
First off, Collective Soul has been a favorite of mine since 1994 as well. The single, “Shine,” came out right about the time my wife and I started dating: June
10, 1994. I find it amazing how many bands I enjoy wind up in your blog (U2, Collective Soul, The Lost Dogs and their respective band-members’ many projects, etc.). U2′s “Magnificent” is my favorite song right now. I must also thank you for turning me onto Marillion’s “Uninvited Guest.” I ended up buying it on iTunes.
Secondly, because of my great-great-grandfather (Peter Hasney) playing for them in the old American Association, my love of the color green, and their Philadelphia roots, the A’s are my favorite AL team. The Phillies are my NL team who have once again gained respectability. I pray they never meet in the World Series and make me choose.
On to the reason for my writing…
I have mentioned the loss of my wife in 2007 before (two years ago today was the prayer service for her where the elders of the church anointed her with oil and prayed over her). I had the utmost faith in God throughout her cancer fight. I had no quarrel with God when He called her home because she “set me free” the month before with a speech that I shall share later on. My faith was such that I said, “Thy will be done.”
Since then, in matters much smaller than life and death, I find myself fretting and wrangling as if that faith I had before was a mirage or applicable only in the most dire consequences. I find that doubt comes in when we leave room for faith but do not fill in the blank. So, the blank gets filled in by doubt instead. It’s up to us to erase and rewrite in the formerly blank spaces.
I say, with a broken spirit and wounded pride, that I have learned this the hard way – and still need to remind myself of this daily. Charles Stanley preached years ago on writing a journal of things that God has done for us so that we never forget His victories past when new challenges rise to meet us. I wish I had followed that advice then instead of simply relying on my usually sharp memory. However, one thing that the enemy and doubt cannot take away is the victory I saw when the Lord moved me to share the Gospel with my best friend and he was saved four months after me – in 1991. I know God was using me – I really was nothing more than a vessel much like the way I became when I was strong for my wife and our family in our darkest hours. Anyway, I need only recall my friend’s current walk and change in his life to remind myself that God has answered past prayers. I pray that He will remind you of similar things in your past. It’s sort of a “D’oh!” moment when it happens and I recall His Spirit accomplishments in my life. Then I thank and praise Him all over again.
Were it not for Him, I never…
would have changed churches,
would have met my wife,
would have my son, etc.
It’s quite amazing when I think about it – and more amazing how easy it is to resort to doubt than remember those things which are concrete reminders.
I hope it is apparent that I am writing this to myself as much as to you. Thank you for inspiring me to write this out, Jerry.
In 7 days’ time, I will mark the second anniversary of Mary’s death. However, as she said to me on April 14, 2007, I am not to miss her… not in earthly terms. Because to miss her in those terms, she said, is to want her back and that would have to be in the body she had at that moment. She said if God takes her home she would never again have to endure the many things a cancer patient does (she then spouted a list of tests and procedures she no longer has to bear). I had to pull over as we were driving in Wildwood Crest – at the beach, her favorite place to be. So, she did me a world of good that day, despite the pain it caused at that moment. I now no longer miss her in earthly terms because I know where she is because, as U2 says, “I Will Follow.”
Thanks for your informative and thought-provoking blogs, Jerry. They do me much good. See you here, there, or in the air!
In God’s grace, mercy, and love,
Michael Gross
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hang in there my friend… i am praying for you this morning…. the reason it works like this is because Jesus wanted us to have relationship – not just with him – but with others… when you are weak… God sends someone to lift you up and be strong… it has happened to me so many times and sometimes I also do not want to rely on others… but God wants us to… luv – your sis – dawn