Earlier this month, I opined on a Playboy article on conservative women. In the two posts I said while the story was vile and repulsive, those attacked should shrug it off as nothing more than another example of the increasingly coarse nature of public discourse. It comes with the territory, I wrote. No big. Forget it and move on. That’s what I thought, that’s what I believed, and that’s what I wrote.
I was wrong.
I was completely wrong in what I wrote. Wrong to the point where I apologize without reservation or justification for what I wrote. No excuses, no qualifiers. What I wrote was in no fashion meant to be hurtful. Yet it was hurtful. This is unacceptable. Period.
I inexcusably neglected to keep in mind that despite the essential principle of equality between men and women, we are not the same. There are fundamental differences between men and women, differences defined not by man but by God. There are fundamental responsibilities concerning, and declarations on, how men are to behave in regard to women; responsibilities defined and declarations made not by man but by God. These are not optional. Ever.
Inexorably woven throughout these differences, responsibilities and declarations is sex. The intense pleasure and passion of lovemaking is a sign given to us by God of Christ the Bridegroom’s intense passion and love for His bride the church. Also, it is the highest expression of love between man and woman, a reminder that as God loves us to the highest level, namely Jesus dying on the cross so that we might live in eternity with Him, so we can love each other. I take a somewhat different tack from traditional teaching in that I believe nothing in Scripture prohibits two single consenting adults from making love, noting there are unyielding rules in this: if you’re married you are to have relations with absolutely no one except your spouse, and prostitutes are never acceptable. These, however, are side notes. The most important thing is what lovemaking is meant to be.
As mentioned, there are rules that dictate the behavior of all men. Another man’s wife is not an option. If a man is married, any woman other than his own wife is not an option. It’s not so much as end of discussion. There’s nothing to discuss.
Can women use this as a weapon against men? Yes they can and yes they do. Sinful, wrong, unfair, all that? Absolutely. So what? The obligation to say no regardless of provocation by a woman toward a man when the woman and the man having sex is prohibited is never negotiable. It cannot be rationalized away. There is no such thing as situational ethics. No is no. Every single time.
Scripture is the original manual on the mandate to man up. It doesn’t suggest; it dictates how men are to treat women. Men are to love women. To love means to protect. Therefore, mean are to protect women. All women. Not just the nice ones. The ultimate example is Jesus staring down a crowd all set to execute a woman guilty – not merely accused, but guilty – of adultery. Perfectly within their right under the Law.
I mentioned how much of this discussion is rooted in sex. The satanic side of sex is rape. It is the ultimate nightmare; the darkest fear. A point was made the other day by Tabitha Hale in her blog about what she refers to as mind-rape, defined as an attack by a man or men against a woman or women that crosses the line of rational or even heated debate by becoming an assault so barbed and vicious its goal is cowering the woman or women into submission even as the goal of physical rape is driving the victim into submission. It is opposition mutated into oppression, preying on the darkest fear. This must always be confronted with full force by all men of God. In my earlier posts I discounted the darkest fear. I should have known better.
A man can say whatever he wants to about me (and believe me, if it can be said it has been said). I’ll either ignore it or deal with the individual about it. But when a man speaks against a woman in a manner that crosses the line from debate into intimidation or brutalization, she should never have to defend herself alone. A man of God has the obligation to say no not only to improper sexual advances as well as his own desires when they are outside the realm of permissible behavior. He also has the obligation to say no to indifference when a woman is assaulted, be it physically, intellectually or emotionally. A brother defends his sister. I didn’t. It won’t happen again.
Ever.
P.S. This song by the Tragically Hip doesn’t specifically apply to any of the above, yet in the title (“It’s A Good Life If You Don’t Weaken”) there is a connection:
[video http://www.diecast-dude.com/gac/tragically_hip_its_a_good_life_if_you_dont_weaken.flv nolink]
