(This was originally going to be a Gord the polar bear post, but the more I got into it the less it worked. So I went with more familiar characters. Hope you enjoy it.)
One fine day in the Hundred Acre Wood, Pooh and Piglet were walking along when they came across their friend Eeyore.
“Good morning, Eeyore,” said Pooh.
“Good morning, Eeyore,” said Piglet.
“Well, it is morning,” said Eeyore. “I would not call it good, but if it’s good to you then it’s a good morning after all.”
Pooh replied, “Why shouldn’t this be a good morning for you as well? It’s a lovely morning.”
“For now it’s lovely. But it’ll probably be raining before long.”
Pooh looked up at the cloudless sky. “I rather doubt that.”
“It might anyway. Better go get my umbrella now. Or at least I would go get my umbrella if I had one. Even if I did have one, it’d blow away in the wind or tear on a tree branch. Oh well.”
Pooh and Piglet was very puzzled. After a moment Piglet said, “Eeyore. Why are you so gloomy on such a lovely and good morning?”
“I take it you haven’t spoken to Christopher Robin this morning,” Eeyore said in response.
“No,” a suddenly worried Pooh replied. “Is everything all right with our friend?”
“Nothing is wrong with him. He was telling me about what his parents were talking about the other night.”
“Are they all right?” an anxious Piglet worried aloud.
“I believe so. He said they were quite agitated, though. Which isn’t quite as good as being all right, but better than not being all right.”
Pooh thought about it as best he could for a minute. “I believe I agree. Now, why were they so upset? It wasn’t at Christopher Robin, was it?”
Eeyore shook his head no, his tacked-on tail moving along with it. “No. He said it was something called ‘politics.’“
“What’s a ‘politics?’“ Pooh asked.
Piglet said in a shaky voice, “Is it big and scary?”
“Is it like a heffalump or woozle, trying to steal every smackeral of honey?” added Pooh.
“Christopher Robin wasn’t sure,” said Eeyore. “He thinks it’s something parents do when they’re not being parents.”
“If it upsets them so, they should do something not so upsetting,” replied Pooh.
“One would think so,” said Eeyore.
Pooh thought as best he could. “So what about this ‘poliitics’ was so upsetting?”
“He said it was many things.”
“So there are many different politics?” asked Piglet. “That sounds even scarier.”
“No, there’s just the one,” replied Eeyore. “Although it must be a very strange looking thing.”
Pooh leaned forward and whispered, “In what way?”
Eeyore whispered in reply, “Christopher Robin said his parents were talking about how this ‘politics’ has many faces.”
“Oh d-d-d-dear!” exclaimed Piglet. “Do they all have sharp teeth?”
“I’m not sure.” Eeyore paused to think about it for a moment. “Christopher Robin didn’t say anything about teeth. I imagine at least one of the faces does, since Christopher Robin said his parents were very unhappy with the bite a face called ‘taxes’ took out of something of theirs called a ‘wallet.’“
Piglet let out a yelp and ran behind the nearest tree, to which Pooh responded with a chuckle. “I’m sure a ‘wallet’ is nothing like a Piglet, Piglet.”
“If you say so, Pooh,” Piglet replied warily as he returned to where he had been before.
Pooh chuckled again as he turned back to Eeyore. “What other faces might this ‘politics’ have, Eeyore?”
“Well, one is called ‘big government.’ Another is ‘corporate bailout.’ There’s one named ‘deficit.’ Christopher Robin said his parents were very unhappy about all of them.”
“Then there is only one thing to do,” said Pooh in a firm voice.
“What’s that, Pooh?” Eeyore and Piglet simultaneously replied.
“We must capture this monster so it will no longer upset our friend’s parents.” With that, Pooh disappeared into his home.
“What do you think he’s going in there to get?” Piglet nervously whispered to Eeyore.
“I’m not sure,” replied Eeyore. “But whatever it is, I hope he brings enough of them for all of us. I don’t want to be walking along and suddenly face the politics monster alone.”
After a long while Pooh returned.
“I have what we need to face the politics monster,” he said in a happy voice.
“A sword?” asked Eeyore.
“A shield?” asked Piglet.
“Neither,” replied Pooh.
“Then what?” Eeyore and Piglet exclaimed.
“This,” said Pooh. He produced a book, which he carefully laid on a log.
“Now, come sit with me.” Pooh picked up the book and sat on the log, a very puzzled Eeyore and Piglet joining him on either side.
Pooh opened the book. It was large, with a worn leather cover embellished with ornate designs. In the middle, stamped in gold, was the book’s title:
HOW TO DEFEAT THE POLITICS MONSTER
“Where did this book come from?” asked Piglet.
“I’m not sure,” Pooh replied. “It’s always been around my home, but I’ve never read it before. I don’t like reading about monsters, after all. I’d much rather read about something more pleasant. Like honey.”
“Well,” Eeyore said with a sigh, “might as well see what it says.”
Pooh carefully opened the book. On its first page was but one word:
KNOWLEDGE
The three sat and thought about this. After a long time Piglet said, “Knowledge?”
Pooh suddenly smiled. “Why, I know. You see, the politics monster is too big and scary to fight the usual way. So we have to outsmart it.”
Both Eeyore and Piglet thought this was a somewhat odd statement coming from a bear of little brain, but said nothing.
Pooh continued, “There is only one way to do this. Knowledge. Now Owl is very wise, but as he is not here at the moment we should read this book together.” And Pooh turned the page.
On the second page was another single word:
LOVE
“That’s strange,” said Eeyore.
“That’s peculiar,” said Piglet.
“That’s it!” exclaimed Pooh. He excitedly put down the book and hugged his friends, who, not quite knowing how to react, uncertainly hugged back.
While still hugging, Piglet cautiously said, “So why are we hugging each other?”
“Probably to see if it will make my tail fall off,” said Eeyore.
Pooh chuckled his roly-poly bear chuckle. “No, Eeyore. That’s not why we’re hugging.”
“Then why are we hugging?” Eeyore replied.
“It’s because love will defeat the politics monster,” Pooh said.
“How?” asked Piglet.
“I don’t know,” said Pooh. “But the book says it will. And if that is what it says, then that is the knowledge.” So the three friends sat together.
Finally Eeyore said, “Perhaps it is a good morning.”
“Perhaps,” Pooh smiled. “Perhaps.”
