Today’s — to be more accurate, tonight’s — column for the Examiner. Not one of my better ones, in my opinion. Perhaps I feel this way because I had an extremely difficult time writing it. Not really sure why.
The strong one
The cover of "Inner City Front" by Bruce Cockburn
In 1981, Canadian progressive folk artist Bruce Cockburn released an album titled Inner City Front. On it, Cockburn, a Christian, included a moody, somewhat quirky track bearing the name “The Strong One.” It tells the tale in second person of one called on time and again to help others, musing:
You help your sisters
You help your old lovers
You help me
But who do you cry to?
‘Cause isn’t it hard
To be the one who gathers everybody’s tears?
And isn’t it hard
To be the strong one?
All believers who gives of themselves to help others sooner or later runs into “ministering from an empty well” syndrome. It’s what happens when you’re so busy assisting friends, family and fellow believers you forget to also tend to your own spiritual needs. Or, you overestimate how much you have to offer.
Neither of these are done with malice. They are errors of enthusiasm, born out of a genuine desire to serve the Lord by serving others. However, an honorable mistake is still a mistake. Bad things happen when you give what you don’t have to give.
End result?
Burnout.
And so one withdraws, believing they have nothing to offer. This can go on for quite a while. Usually years. It takes a long time to heal from pouring out your soul only to see it side down the drain, seemingly having had no effect on anyone. Other than your own crash and burn. You tried so hard, so very hard, to help people. And ended up hurting yourself.
Then one day it hits you.
God’s not done with you yet.
In fact, He never was.
You had to learn this lesson the hard way. The lesson of understanding what you can do by first coming to grips with what you can’t. You can’t live someone else’s life for them. You can’t invigorate someone else’s soul for them if they’re not open to Christ working in their lives.
You can answer for, live for, only one person.
Yourself.
With this in your mind and heart you slowly, cautiously, start reaching out to others. As you do so, you discover something you’d missed during your first go around.
There is sustenance in support.
At times when you least feel capable of helping others, you’re most able to do just that. How? By being honest. By being real. By not pretending to be anything other than what you now know you are.
By admitting you’re just as much in need of help as the one you’re helping.
Tower of strength? No. A fellow ragtag soldier, sharing what you’ve been given.
Being ministered to by the same Spirit through which you minister.
That’s when you’re the strong one.
