I’m not into keeping score of how many people follow me on Twitter. Hardly an item of importance, y’know?
As far as who I follow, my general rule of thumb is to not follow anyone who doesn’t follow me. Social media is of little use if one party is antisocial.
I also have a few personal guidelines about what will guarantee me either not following you in the first place or quietly dropping me from the list of those I follow:
- Use the words “life coach” or “financial planner” anywhere in your bio. Thanks, but I already have a life coach. You know, the Author and Giver of life? As far as financial planning, I need no help being broke.
- Rattle off twenty-five tweets in twenty or fewer minutes, all on the same topic. Even if I agree with you, I’m not into being browbeaten. No one is.
- Screaming calls to action. No, I don’t want to be yelled at that I’m a banana slug because I don’t write and call my congressperson and/or senator every five minutes about the current cause du jour. Especially in my case. I’m a conservative. My representative is Barbara Lee. My senators are Barbara Boxer and Dianne Feinstein. Somehow I doubt they, or to be more accurate their staff members who handle their mail, are going to give much credence to anything I have to say on any given topic. Does the expression “never attempt to teach a pig to fly” mean anything to you?
- Be part of a clique. My Dad had a saying: “The Vanderbilts speak only to the Rockefellers, and the Rockefellers speak only to themselves.” If you’re rampaging around acting like you are someone because you’re on this online show and attending this mutual admiration society session disguised as a conference, and you can’t bother to talk to me as an equal with something to say, you are sadly mistaken if you think I’m not worth your time. ‘Tis the other way ’round.
- Try to sell me anything, recommend any kind of service, or do any other kind of unsolicited plug for something not directly connected with something you’ve personally done or personally use.
- Play an online game that updates your status for all to see. No, I don’t care that you just picked up fifty-seven bonus points in Mafia Farmer by buying Machine Gun Flossie.
And the absolute guarantee you either won’t be followed in the first place or immediately unfollowed:
- Any variation on “Look at me — SQUEE!”
Those who applaud themselves have no need of me in the audience.
